The Offbeat Kraken, select options, scroll, “Love the sound of a sloppy, wet blow job?” Add to basket!
OK, so it wasn’t quite that straight forward to decide what to pick. But first let me explain, if you’ve stumbled across this by mistake the Offbeat Kraken is a male sex toy. I spoke about male sex toys on Twitter and it seemed like a taboo subject at the time.
So in the name of *cough* research *cough* I took the plunge and decided to buy one. I’ve never had so much excitement and interest in me having a wank.
This all started with looking at flashlights after an email offer from Ann Summers, but they did nothing for me. Then after a bit of talking the recommendation of Godemiche came up and off I went looking on their site.
Now once I was on the site it was pretty much as straight forward as seeing that first line and I know the Kraken was the one for me! The next option was size, 2″ or 4″, now for me a sloppy blowjob needs to be more than just around the head, so, 4″ it was. I thought this was it but no, I got to chose the colour of it as well! I loved this touch, easily pleased? Maybe so. Anyway pearlescent pink it was. Of course it was!
Each toy is hand made to order. Not like they want sizes or anything. Its not a “delivered in 3-5 days” but I could accept that knowing it was a one off and not a batch of 5000 that had just been sat collecting dust for weeks on end.
Anyway lets get to the good stuff. The day it arrived I was so excited, as promised it was in a plain box. No mention of where it was from or any labelling. Unpacking I was expecting the Kraken to be just inside the box but it was actually in a tube for storage. Again I am easily impressed.
I opened the tube and out came the toy. My first thought “This doesn’t look like its going to take my girth.” Now the website does tell you to use a water based lube, as always I didn’t read the instructions properly. So I went straight upstairs to try it out, yes, without the lube.
I was right, kind of, it didn’t really fit my girth. So I thought I’d try some cock rub, it didn’t help. I got myself harder but that made sliding the kraken down my cock even harder. I managed to slide it down just above the head. And off I went. In no time at all it was over. It felt good but I thought to myself “Get some lube cause this will be amazing with lube!”
So I end up with the lube. I’m willing bedtime to come quick so I can crack out the lube and try the Kraken again. Now I know how lube works. What I didn’t know was how it works with a male sex toy. Anyway, off I went. I started as normal and then when I thought I was hard enough I got the lube out and rubbed it on myself. I took out the Kraken and went to slide it down. It still wasn’t an easy fit. I was concerned. It was sensitive, very sensitive. Again in no time at all I was finished. But fuck me it felt good! And sounded very similar to a sloppy blowjob.
I told myself next time lube up both my cock and the Kraken. And thats exactly what I did and it was fantastic. The Kraken slid down easy enough and fellt great. It didn’t feel as sensitive and with all the lube the noise the kraken made was more like a wet sloppy blowjob than just when I lubed up my cock. It felt great. I didn’t want it to stop because it was the best the Kraken had felt but it was soon over, again.
I’m still trying to work out the best time to start using it but every time I do I honestly love it. The feeling of every stroke is genuinely amazing. Along with being a solo toy it’s something that you could use with a partner as well.
The make of this is fantastic. Its 100% silicone, its soft to the touch and easy to clean after every use. It can be used in the shower, but make sure you take the lube in with you.
You can see from the header image the what it looks like and what it comes stored in. It’s got a good grip and it feels really soft but sturdy. With the right amount of lube it slides on so good.
I genuinely cant find any complaints with the Kraken. I really cant. As I said on the pod they aren’t paying me to say these things this is my own genuine review on it.
I’ve used it often since I’ve got it and each time gets better and better. It feels much better than my own hand, much more enjoyable and feels far more pleasurable.
The team over at GSilicone on Twitter are really helpful and friendly as well so go give them a follow and if you want a sex toy, male or female, then I would definitely recommend you buying one from them. I’ve got my eyes on a couple more on their website so who knows maybe I’ll treat myself again very soon!