Just over a week ago I asked the question on Twitter, “Would you call someone else Daddy?” after reading another blog. The results of that poll were quite one-sided. Over 60% of women that responded, answered with “No, I won’t call you Daddy in the bedroom.” Now, in the blog I read, the woman initially felt the same way, but decided to try it out with her partner after flirting with the idea, which you will need to read to see how it turned out.
This got me thinking about other kinks & fetishes, and if you follow me on Twitter, (if not, why not? But let me know in the comments how you found this blog), you’ll know I love a good poll. So, the next day I decided to look at polling some kinks and fetishes to get an idea of what people liked. I watch enough porn to have a good idea of what to put out there, but a lot of the suggestions came from Cosmo magazine – the list they put together shocked me!
The Twitter Polls
One aspect of the results of the polls surprised me; men and women both seemingly agreeing on the answers. Differences did arise in respect to giving and receiving, in that spanking and choking was popular for women when it came to receiving, and for men it was more popular for giving. The ‘Daddy’ thing still didn’t do well – just in case anyone is wondering. I’d be interested to find out if this is because the thought of calling someone Daddy/Mummy is so taboo and so wrong, that crossing that boundary is just simply too much, or even when used within the dominant/submissive roles and behaviour, people still wouldn’t want to or be interested in it?
I can’t say anything surprised me when it came to some results. Cuck was a relatively low ‘yes’ for men (11%) and women (10%), as was cock and ball torture for men (6%) and women (5%) as well. I have to add, for me, the latter is one I would most definitely be staying away from, sorry ladies.
Humiliation, giving and receiving, watersports (for those who don’t know, as a few had to Google this, it’s pee play), and foot fetishes also got a low ‘yes’ vote in the polls. Along with the Daddy/Mummy thing, I don’t think any of this surprised me. These are still considered quite bespoke fetishes in the grand scheme of things – or at least less likely to be admitted to or experienced.
Me and My Kinks
As the poll was active, I took an online BDSMtest. The results didn’t surprise me but I decided to share them on the poll for others to see and discuss. It’s a good test to do if you’re interested in that sort of thing and want to find out which areas you may consider exploring further.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t surprised that Dom topped the pile. I wasn’t surprised degrader was near the top either. I enjoy being rough and I enjoy having that control when it comes to sex; always have and most likely always will. We all have our thing that gets us going and these are a couple of the things that I enjoy.
Now, don’t get me wrong there’s a time and a place for that sort of sex and there’s a time and a place for slow, intimate and passionate sex. I’m a fan of both. But I’m not going to lie, 9 times out of 10, give me the rough fucking. If it’s done right with consent, after care and pre-agreed knowledge that it’s part of a “role” for sexual pleasure, then it’s great fun.
I enjoy the kinks and fetishes I’m into and think I’d like to try many more. Would I disclose them all either on the pod or in a blog, maybe not. Why? Well kink shaming is still a thing sadly, isn’t it? And whether that’s people turning their nose up at someone who likes to call their partner Daddy or judging somebody who likes to be humiliated and degraded, it still happens, which is a real shame. I think people having to hide the things they are in to is always a bit sad. But when you look at how close some of the polls were, in terms of yes and no for both sexes, then it maybe suggests that when majority of people don’t like the idea of something in the bedroom, they might naturally react in a judgemental way?
I never told any of the ex’s some of the things I’d want to try. I was worried about what they would say if I told them. It took me the best part of 2 years to tell my last ex that I really wanted to try making her gag when she gave me a blowjob. It’s something that we tried in the end and she enjoyed doing it and I enjoyed receiving it.
I often imagine some people would be shocked and surprised if they knew the things I was in to or at least curious about. But then they do say, “It’s always the quiet ones” and maybe that’s true. I’ve had chats with mates about things and even between mates some of the things raise eyebrows.
Kinks and fetishes are fun. And again, it’s always important to talk to partners about what you like and what you want to do in the bedroom. We shouldn’t be ashamed of the things we like, but we shouldn’t pressure any partner in to trying anything they don’t want to try either. It’s not all about kinks and fetishes either. Some people might not have any, or many. That’s perfectly fine too. There should be no shaming around what anyone enjoys when it comes to sex.
Without telling you which ones, (some you should be able to guess), 12 out of the18 polls would have been a yes from me. If you fancy, then take a guess on the post for this blog.
Ultimately, I think kink shaming will always be around. As people we judge. Someone likes watersports? How disgusting! Someone enjoys being called a slut? What’s wrong with them!?!?! The answer is… NOTHING!!! It’s their choice and it’s what they like. You don’t have to like it and no one is asking you to. But accept that others will like that sort of thing and don’t judge them for it. Is it that hard? It seems to be for some, which is sad really.
Maybe one day I’ll write about the things I enjoy or want to try instead of this vague bullshit. But then I wonder how differently people would look at me and how it would go down? Who knows what will happen or where this blog will take me?
On a final note, if you’ve read this, please try to not judge others for what turns them on or what they are in to. If you do, do it silently or do it inquisitively, or maybe just ‘kink’ outside the box! We all like different things and we all want to have fun.